Chuck Norris.

by **Rollin** » September 25th, 2007, 10:10 pm

What can he do?

I've heard cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris, but, not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.

What else have you heard?

by **needfordspeed** » September 25th, 2007, 10:13 pm

LOL, this will be a good thread.

by **Gozza** » September 25th, 2007, 10:21 pm

Chuck Norris Fucked Your Mother in the Ass

by **needfordspeed** » September 25th, 2007, 10:23 pm

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

by **CMYWPN** » September 25th, 2007, 10:24 pm

i heard chuck norris is responsible for traffic.

by **slo_sprint** » September 25th, 2007, 10:26 pm

I heard that chuck norris doesn't get wet, it is infact water that gets chuck norrised.

by **CMYWPN** » September 25th, 2007, 10:29 pm

i also heard chuck norris doesnt feel pain but he deflects it into the enemies direction.

by **needfordspeed** » September 25th, 2007, 10:40 pm

I heard Chuck norris doesn't sleep, he waits.

by **Phoenix** » September 25th, 2007, 10:45 pm

Apparently he only has 2 speeds....walk....and kill.

he's also the only one able to slam a revolving door!
hows that for skills!
Brenton

by **Steady** » September 25th, 2007, 10:48 pm

When doing a headgasket in his CFI 3.9 EA ex-taxi, Chuck Norris doesn't use a single hex impact socket to tighten the headbolts.
He does it with his teeth.

by **CMYWPN** » September 25th, 2007, 10:50 pm

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahaa

by **CMYWPN** » September 25th, 2007, 10:51 pm

he also invented the nun-chucks

by **CMYWPN** » September 25th, 2007, 10:53 pm

did yous hear how he once had a misfire in his EL on gas so he popped the hood and just stared at the leads til they gave in.

by **needfordspeed** » September 25th, 2007, 10:56 pm

CMYWPN wrote:did yous hear how he once had a misfire in his EL on gas so he popped the hood and just stared at the leads til they gave in.

LOL!!

by **CMYWPN** » September 25th, 2007, 11:01 pm

once in an interview chuck quoted " air bags? pppfffftt, air bags are for whimps, i dont need air bags"

by **Bipolar** » September 25th, 2007, 11:08 pm

I heard Chuck Norris is so fast he can run around the earth and punch himself in the back of the head.

by **needfordspeed** » September 25th, 2007, 11:10 pm

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.

by **CMYWPN** » September 25th, 2007, 11:14 pm

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMFFFFFFFFFFFFFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by **slo_sprint** » September 25th, 2007, 11:21 pm

I was told that chuck norris once had an EB XR8 that leaked coolant everywhere, one roundhouse kick later it dared not leak another drop of coolant and gained 50kw!

by **Damo** » September 25th, 2007, 11:23 pm

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

by **Damo** » September 25th, 2007, 11:25 pm

Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

by **needfordspeed** » September 25th, 2007, 11:27 pm

Chuck Norris's EA doesn't blow head gaskets, head gaskets blow Chuck Norris.

by **serial_fool** » September 25th, 2007, 11:58 pm

needfordspeed wrote:Chuck Norris's EA doesn't blow head gaskets, head gaskets blow Chuck Norris.

Erotic head gaskets? LOL

by **nommic** » September 26th, 2007, 12:02 am

Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a get out of jail free monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green number 4 card from the game Uno.

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes

by **TUFED6** » September 26th, 2007, 7:30 am

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris's beard, only another fist.

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot
broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart
while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

by **Commando** » September 26th, 2007, 8:07 am

Chuck Norris can port a HO manifold to the extent that it outflows a Blowzilla/Flowzilla combo. With his tongue.

Gene Simmons and Kenne Bell now plot his demise. Because Chuck believes in false hope being a basic democratic right for all. <-- *EDIT* maybe that's why EANL exists?

by **Rmyers** » September 26th, 2007, 8:44 am

God wanted 10 days to create the world but Chuck Norris only allowed him 7

by **Gunns** » September 26th, 2007, 8:50 am

Chuck Norris Sleeps with a light on because the dark is afrade of Chuck Norris

by **Phoenix** » September 26th, 2007, 3:10 pm

when he was born, chuck norris had sexy time with his mum on the way out.....his mother was the 4th person he has sex with.

by **Nikk O'lass** » September 26th, 2007, 5:04 pm

Chuck Norris has sweat thats LD50

If Osama was chuck Norris, we all be hiding

by **Bipolar** » September 26th, 2007, 5:18 pm

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

by **EdFairmontGhia** » September 26th, 2007, 9:18 pm

Chuck norris goes on deal or no deal, takes a glance at andrew o'keefe and then all the case girls, run to give him $200, 000

by **Commando** » September 26th, 2007, 9:49 pm

EdFairmontGhia wrote:Chuck norris goes on deal or no deal, takes a glance at andrew o'keefe and then all the case girls, run to give him $200, 000

He calls BOOYEH "The Monkey", and nobody corrects him. After the show, BOOYEH is henceforth known as "The Monkey"

by **-jjM-** » September 26th, 2007, 10:07 pm

i heard chuck norris dosen't kill to birds with one stone, he kills all birds with one stone

by **Bipolar** » September 26th, 2007, 10:50 pm

I heard Chuck Norris is the reason why Wally is hiding.

by **Gunns** » September 27th, 2007, 8:08 am

Chuck Norris does not move, the earth revolves around Chuck Norris

by **Bomber** » September 27th, 2007, 8:39 am

Ahh good ol Chuck Norris

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

and in my sig below

by **Gozza** » September 27th, 2007, 9:20 am

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

LOL

by **Thanatos** » September 27th, 2007, 10:33 am

I heard Chuck Norris' penis has a hemi...

by **SgtBourne** » September 27th, 2007, 10:43 am

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
i like that one

edit: stuff that, this one is king "Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them."

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