Commando's myspace rant
Posted: October 16th, 2007, 6:02 pmHere's where it starts. There's a skate park being built outside my office.
Skatepark Pros:
Schoolgirls, funny stacks
Skatepark Cons:
Smartass tresspassing skaters aged 14 to 30. Yes, thirty. Anyhoo onto the story.
This skate park isn't finished yet. The contractors were off-site, and the kids kept on breaking in. The person in charge of the project wasn't in the office today so I was dealing with the kids breaking in.
The first time was easy enough. Go through the routine "sorry boys, it's a construction site... yes it's off limits, hence the fencing and signs... it'll be finshed soon, until then it's illegal to enter the site... etc etc". There were only two of them and they played dumb but also played nice & left.
2nd time = shit, there were ten 17-18yos in there. They where kids who looked like they either needed to be in school or sticking to their 1st year apprenticeship.
(Dave) "Boys, you guys realise this is a fenced off construction site?"
(Kid 1) "cry me a river"
(Dave, sensing they're not going to play ball) "JT? That's like 2003."
(Kid 1 AKA JT Admirer) "go **** yourself"
I was thinking to myself WTF? This kid is quoting Justin Timberlake lyrics to me? Is he trying to tell everyone in the skate bowl that he's a raving fag who watches Video Hits on Saturday mornings in the blind hope that he'll catch a glimpse of Nsync, or JT bringing some sexy back? When I attempt to insult someone, I try not to do it with boyband pop lyrics from several years ago, I try to use wit, and failing that, a reference to their mother's weight or aesthetics (yo mama so fat...)
On with the conversation.
(Kid 2) "duh, it was wide open"
(Dave) "it's open because I saw *you* open the gate 2 minutes ago":
(Kid 2 AKA Gate Opener) "duh, where's the sign saying KEEP OUT?"
(Dave) "err, it was ON THE GATE that you forced open."
(Gate Opener) "@Q%@!"
(Dave) "Well boys, just letting you know that you're not allowed on here yet. See those spikes (boxing/stakes for the incomplete concreting on site) sticking out of the ground? Land on those and they will **** Your Shit Up. In a bad way."
(Dave thinks to self, is there a good way of Fucking Your Shit Up?)
(JT Admirer, Gate Opener, & Kids 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8) "@%$^*%!"
(Dave) "OK fine. In 10 minutes a divvy van will be cruising past here, you might want to be out by then."
They didn't leave, so 15 minutes later (the cops weren't there yet) I walked out with a camera. They started with the pedophile lines, and as that was happening the cops rocked up
One of the heroes ran to his commodore & hid in there with his girlfriend. One of the heroes was giving the cops attitude, and the gate opener was all quiet. JT admirer was trying his best to get into juvy. The rest were hanging around looking sheepish.
Ayway, the cops asked me if I saw who broke in first, and I looked *really obviously* at the kid who did it and said:
(Dave) "I can't remember which one because there's so many of them, but if they enter again I'm sure my memory will be crystal clear the whole time".
(Gate Opener)
After that (around "hometime"), a group of 15yos broke in. I went out & re-ran the whole "sorry boys, this is a construction site", etc, and they were cool about it. I "won them over" when suggesting that people won't be watching them after 5pm ("most of us finish at 5, you'll have a lot of eyes on you this arvo"), and they were fine after that, they hung around but didn't enter the site. All good so far.
Anyhoo, an hour after that, two blokes aged 30-ish break in & start skating in there, with all the kids watching. The kids looked like dogs told to Sit and then having a pile of meaty soup bones placed a metre from them. You could see the salivation glinting in the sunlight...
I figured "fk this, I'm not dealing with two huge 30yos" and just called the cops. The cops rocked up, had words with them in front of the kids, and then they (the cops) left, with the 30yos remaining in the compound skating still! I was PISSED because all the kids just saw these two blokes get caught red handed and LET OFF. Turns out they're contractors who have been working on the site, and today was an RDO for them and they thought they'd enter to "test the site". The cops couldn't do anything about it because they were legally allowed on site being the contractors & all...
So the contractors left (that's how I figured out they were contractors because I didn't see their car the first time, and when they left I recognised the car).I went down & the kids were in there again, and this time they were full of attitude. It's funny how seeing adults getting away with stuff which cops can't do anything about changes kids' perspective on what's right and what's wrong. I went down there with a notepad & told them that I recognised two of them & wanted their names.
(Kid 1) "why should I give you my name?"
(Kid 2)"just tell him Ash"
(Kid 1 AKA Ash) "uhh, my name is Ben (something)"
(Dave) "Sure. Ash. Phone number?"
(Ash) "uhh, we don't have a phone."
(Dave) "sucks to be poor. I earned a lot of money today. I'm earning money while talking to you. Home address?"
(Ash gives address, most likely phoney) "You can't do anything anyway, what if my name is fake? All you've got is a name."
(Dave) "well I'll just go to the office & grab my camera then..."
He shut up & they stayed out until 5pm, then they were straight in there. I let them go coz I was over it, & I'd originally said 5pm ("at least wait until knock off time boys...") so at least they obeyed that.
But damn, kids today have attitude problems. 10 years ago I would've been with them in the skate park, but with the site of a "responsible adult" (aka me, *lawl*) or the 5-0, I would've been shitting myself and being a "good boy" when told to f**k off & play somewhere else.
As for the contractors, I can't believe it, they're fkn 30 and doing that shit? Dave's imaginary conversation with one of those contractors:
(Dave) So what did you do today mate? I worked & earned money.
(Kentractor) I went to a skate park where kids half my age were hanging out. I looked tuff wearing clothes that 20yos wear, and my tats had them froffin'. Coz life's about impressing adolescent boys with your prowess & skills that you should've had when you were their age, but it's taken another fifteen years to get to where you're at. Circle of life dude, circle of life.
Enough of the fucking Point Break bullshit. Skaters can make like haemaphrodites and go **** themselves.
Dave Out.
Skatepark Pros:
Schoolgirls, funny stacks
Skatepark Cons:
Smartass tresspassing skaters aged 14 to 30. Yes, thirty. Anyhoo onto the story.
This skate park isn't finished yet. The contractors were off-site, and the kids kept on breaking in. The person in charge of the project wasn't in the office today so I was dealing with the kids breaking in.
The first time was easy enough. Go through the routine "sorry boys, it's a construction site... yes it's off limits, hence the fencing and signs... it'll be finshed soon, until then it's illegal to enter the site... etc etc". There were only two of them and they played dumb but also played nice & left.
2nd time = shit, there were ten 17-18yos in there. They where kids who looked like they either needed to be in school or sticking to their 1st year apprenticeship.
(Dave) "Boys, you guys realise this is a fenced off construction site?"
(Kid 1) "cry me a river"
(Dave, sensing they're not going to play ball) "JT? That's like 2003."
(Kid 1 AKA JT Admirer) "go **** yourself"
I was thinking to myself WTF? This kid is quoting Justin Timberlake lyrics to me? Is he trying to tell everyone in the skate bowl that he's a raving fag who watches Video Hits on Saturday mornings in the blind hope that he'll catch a glimpse of Nsync, or JT bringing some sexy back? When I attempt to insult someone, I try not to do it with boyband pop lyrics from several years ago, I try to use wit, and failing that, a reference to their mother's weight or aesthetics (yo mama so fat...)
On with the conversation.
(Kid 2) "duh, it was wide open"
(Dave) "it's open because I saw *you* open the gate 2 minutes ago":
(Kid 2 AKA Gate Opener) "duh, where's the sign saying KEEP OUT?"
(Dave) "err, it was ON THE GATE that you forced open."
(Gate Opener) "@Q%@!"
(Dave) "Well boys, just letting you know that you're not allowed on here yet. See those spikes (boxing/stakes for the incomplete concreting on site) sticking out of the ground? Land on those and they will **** Your Shit Up. In a bad way."
(Dave thinks to self, is there a good way of Fucking Your Shit Up?)
(JT Admirer, Gate Opener, & Kids 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8) "@%$^*%!"
(Dave) "OK fine. In 10 minutes a divvy van will be cruising past here, you might want to be out by then."
They didn't leave, so 15 minutes later (the cops weren't there yet) I walked out with a camera. They started with the pedophile lines, and as that was happening the cops rocked up
One of the heroes ran to his commodore & hid in there with his girlfriend. One of the heroes was giving the cops attitude, and the gate opener was all quiet. JT admirer was trying his best to get into juvy. The rest were hanging around looking sheepish.Ayway, the cops asked me if I saw who broke in first, and I looked *really obviously* at the kid who did it and said:
(Dave) "I can't remember which one because there's so many of them, but if they enter again I'm sure my memory will be crystal clear the whole time".
(Gate Opener)
After that (around "hometime"), a group of 15yos broke in. I went out & re-ran the whole "sorry boys, this is a construction site", etc, and they were cool about it. I "won them over" when suggesting that people won't be watching them after 5pm ("most of us finish at 5, you'll have a lot of eyes on you this arvo"), and they were fine after that, they hung around but didn't enter the site. All good so far.
Anyhoo, an hour after that, two blokes aged 30-ish break in & start skating in there, with all the kids watching. The kids looked like dogs told to Sit and then having a pile of meaty soup bones placed a metre from them. You could see the salivation glinting in the sunlight...
I figured "fk this, I'm not dealing with two huge 30yos" and just called the cops. The cops rocked up, had words with them in front of the kids, and then they (the cops) left, with the 30yos remaining in the compound skating still! I was PISSED because all the kids just saw these two blokes get caught red handed and LET OFF. Turns out they're contractors who have been working on the site, and today was an RDO for them and they thought they'd enter to "test the site". The cops couldn't do anything about it because they were legally allowed on site being the contractors & all...
So the contractors left (that's how I figured out they were contractors because I didn't see their car the first time, and when they left I recognised the car).I went down & the kids were in there again, and this time they were full of attitude. It's funny how seeing adults getting away with stuff which cops can't do anything about changes kids' perspective on what's right and what's wrong. I went down there with a notepad & told them that I recognised two of them & wanted their names.
(Kid 1) "why should I give you my name?"
(Kid 2)"just tell him Ash"
(Kid 1 AKA Ash) "uhh, my name is Ben (something)"
(Dave) "Sure. Ash. Phone number?"
(Ash) "uhh, we don't have a phone."
(Dave) "sucks to be poor. I earned a lot of money today. I'm earning money while talking to you. Home address?"
(Ash gives address, most likely phoney) "You can't do anything anyway, what if my name is fake? All you've got is a name."
(Dave) "well I'll just go to the office & grab my camera then..."
He shut up & they stayed out until 5pm, then they were straight in there. I let them go coz I was over it, & I'd originally said 5pm ("at least wait until knock off time boys...") so at least they obeyed that.
But damn, kids today have attitude problems. 10 years ago I would've been with them in the skate park, but with the site of a "responsible adult" (aka me, *lawl*) or the 5-0, I would've been shitting myself and being a "good boy" when told to f**k off & play somewhere else.
As for the contractors, I can't believe it, they're fkn 30 and doing that shit? Dave's imaginary conversation with one of those contractors:
(Dave) So what did you do today mate? I worked & earned money.
(Kentractor) I went to a skate park where kids half my age were hanging out. I looked tuff wearing clothes that 20yos wear, and my tats had them froffin'. Coz life's about impressing adolescent boys with your prowess & skills that you should've had when you were their age, but it's taken another fifteen years to get to where you're at. Circle of life dude, circle of life.
Enough of the fucking Point Break bullshit. Skaters can make like haemaphrodites and go **** themselves.
Dave Out.
(and the boss's boss's boss is out)
Is it a good skate park they are building ?
Tony Hawk would approve
Sorry Damo hehe! J/K.