Post your epic fails

[Sunboost]

Yep -

1. Attempting to use a g clamp to push in the piston on a rear brake caliper on my 1st EA with Douglas as an accomplice. Shortly before that we fkd up the rotor retaining screw and took us one hour to sort it out. N00bs FTL. A call to Bass Crazy revealed that the piston actually needs to be turned to go in. One fukked brake caliper later it was all good.

2. 1st motor replacement I attempted was in MRDOSE when it was white and wore FBF500 plates. Yep. Epic fail that one. Had it sitting for 6 weeks out the front with no motor. It came out OK. Tried to bolt it all back together the same way it came out. Torque converter attached to flexplate and everything. Fail. Pulled out gearbox, slid the torque converter in without locating it and then jammed the motor together with the trans. It made cracking noises but bolted together OK. Doug, Karl and Rob (baarge8) came round and helped finally get it fitted in the car. All OK.

1st day problems included a clutch fan that removed itself from the motor, fukked electrics and a gearbox that would fail to engage any gear on the first acceleration attempted, and then thump loudly on teh second attempt. The gearbox died on the second week =D

Moral of story - locate the torque converter in the trans correctly before bolting up.

To think we can do that sht in a day now

3. Having a loose starter motor bolt on TUFPAK with a leaking fuel rail after the motor change. The leaking fuel rail wasn't going to be a problem in my mind, what could spark? Eventually the loose bolt worked loose enough for the starter to not want to engage - instead making a slight spark where it was loose. Fuel ignited. 5 minute fire ensued. Celebration burnout occurred once the fire was out. Drove it home from Rowville with the loose starter bolt and fuel still leaking =D

There's probably more. A lot more.

[Sunboost]

4. Removing motor and transmission from wrecked navy blue $400 EA S Pack job that some older forum members may remember. That was a while ago, when Ash and Damo were still friends. Anyways, had a plastic bucket under the end of the trans while it was on the hoist thingy, for some reason the trans dropped and cracked the bucket which had filled to near capacity. Much oil on road... much laughter at my expense.

Ummm..

[Gozza]

EPIC Fail - I had no knowledge of cars at this stage.

Decided i would attempt colour coding my own bumpers

Fail 1 = Not knowing how to take a rear bumper off...So i ripped it clean off and fucked all the wing bolt thingos....

Fail 2 = Not knowing anything about painting....Sprayed up bumpers and moulds....A million layers of shit....A million Layers of Gloss and Hardening Shit. End Result = fucked looking shitbox

Fail 3 - Standing out on the road like a trolloc holding my bumper bar against the car waiting for Shipping Container Bonding Compound to dry and hold the bumper

I now dumb not any stuff

[Sunboost]

5. Was transporting DPORTD V1 over to Gilzilla's joint in it's unregistered, standard height and just repaired head gasket state. Decided to take a detour down a gravel road I had familiarised myself with in Rips' FLYRYD machine. Higher car felt a little unstable on the road, but I still accelerated to 100km/h approaching a 3 right. Turned in to 3 right at around 60km/h thinking in my mind was gunna show gill some decent action. Yeah, was good action. Front left tyre decided to stop rotating like it's supposed to sending the car in to a slide towards a ditch and dirt wall. Gil hit's the window hard, but is still alive. The EA survives with some mashed snowflake lips and renewed wheel alignment.

[Dansedgli]

1. I had 2 toranas. 1 had an RB30 in it and 1 had no engine. I wanted to put the RB30 and all the good stuff from that car into the other one which was a 2 door.

I spent all day moving the good brakes, control arms, suspension, steering rack, bushes from the RB30 front subframe to the other car's subframe. Go to put motor in and realise the subframe's were different. Spend all day the next day moving everything back to the old subframe and swapping subframes over.

Too fcking ages.

2. AIT Twin cam EA. 3 epic fails on this one.

2.(1) Drive 16hrs 1 way to pick it up from Northern NSW, get there to be shown that the parcel shelf is missing. Fail. I felt like a kunt for dragging my mates along so I bought the car anyways.
2.(2) Got the car running good with a cooler and more boost. Decided to get a cam to make more power with the standard ECU and microfueller setup. Had someone prescribe and fit one for me. It wouldnt run with the stock ECU even though I was told it would. I hated changing plugs so the car would start so I pulled the motor out.
2. (3) Put a BA motor in it. All was well until I took it to a workshop where it sat for 7 months. I got over it and sold the car. Biggest headache ever.

3. Selling my turbo EB was a bit of a fail. Best car ever.

Lessons learned. Dont use cheap workshops and dont be the first one to get something done through them. Being an experiment FTMFL.

Other than that Ive done alright.

Actually dont use a workshop at all just to be on the safe side.

[get_an_ea_today]

Changing a uni joint on the tail shaft, finally got the new one on and it didnt tighten up all the way, so i thought meh it will be right. Took it for a drive and then dropped a skid, after the skid i started driving again and the uni joint came lose, the whole car was like a giant vibrator haha

[Steady]

I had an epic fail with my first ED. Car ran 16.9 pretty much stock. Slow.
Got extractors and whatnot, exhaust... blah blah.
Spent ages putting some sick cnt cam in it, from a company that was new at the time.
Needed ninja valve springs and shit, so put all that in.
Ran the car, got 17s.
High 17s.
Epic win was smashing that car.

Epic fail un car related.
Using a thing called a pigging system at work, basically clears pipelines full of vegetable oil by shooting a rubber slug down there with nitrogen, pushes all the oil through.
Pig was stuck.
So I was cracking open the end of the pipeline where I though the pig was, had a fitter with me.
Dumbarse me forget there was pressure and oil in the line still.
I cracked the seal on the milky fitting, and oil and nitrogen sprayed out, directly at me.
The oil goes hard real quick, so I looked like a fkcn snowman, not to mention it burnt slightly before it cooled down LOL
Fitter didn't cop a drop of it.
Also had to have a burny hot shower to melt all the oil off.

OTHER work related epic fail.
Was changing a 44gallon drum of this shit called sodium methylate (google it), its corrosive and not nice and shit.
I spilt a bit on top of the drum.
Finished up, went to take a shit.
Was reading a magazine, sitting there dropping off the cosby kids, when I get an itchy leg.
I look down, and my leg has like a red rash. So I scratch it, and it burns and hurts like a motherfcker.
I had put my shirt in the sodium meth, and when I was taking a dump, had rested it on my leg.
It fucken hurt for a week, whenever my pants touched it, it stung.

[spope]

Getting a new windscreen for the EF. Had just been fitted, decided to change the wiper blades.
Let the passenger side wiper blade slip, cracked the brand new screen. $150 down the drain, and had to wait four days for them to fix it.

Not getting the flywheel resurfaced when I changed the clutch in my Pintara was a mistake too. I was in a hurry and had no spare, so i didn't bother. Big mistake. Car is shithouse now when you approach full throttle. Good result of that is I have an LSD box to go in when I get around to fixing it.

[XRated]

Haha some funny laughs.

1: Doing a T5 conversion by myself - barely knew how to change a car's oil at this stage. Brand new $350 clutch and shit etc. Made some noise, nothing too bad, drove it for a couple of weeks, never felt right. Changed the clutch cable, felt beautiful so took it for a spin down to some factory area. Floored the **** out of it (some guys were racing down the empty streets) then my T5 was making noise and smoking. One clutch down the drain.

2: Spent another $350 to change the clutch. Didn't do up the tailshaft bolts properly, hardcore vibrations. CBF with it, took it to a mechanic who showed me the bolts about to drop out of the tailshaft.

3: Getting it sideways for a few mates, ended up doing a 180 over a median strip facing oncoming traffic (fortunately it was quiet at this hour), ripped off two tyres from my 17" wheels. Cops weren't impressed.

[[Sterling]]

i dont have any epic fails yet.. but this is a really good read.

[Commando]

2 x epic near-fails due to negligence rather than n00b stuffups
1 x epic fail with working on my car
1 x epic fail while working on friend's car

1) Crossing the finish line at Heathcote doing 150 when the oil light came on. And stayed on. Car was bone dry!

2) Rocking up at Daneos's workshop with 1L of oil in the sump (after driving for 150kms)

3) Going to all the effort of fitting Explorers to the car, and not bothering to use fresh gaskets because I'd left them at home, 4kms away. Reused old gaskets, topped up the coolant again, started car, coolant tsunami from between heads & lower intake. The whole lot had to come off again!

4) Helped a mate with fitting his new diff up to his XC. Took if for a test drive down the road & it was making a horrible whiney/grindy noise. Driving back to his place, the back end shudders violently & locks up. The pinion & crownwheel decided to make love and become one, welding themselves together. Turns out the diff had no oil in it! Was a bit cranky with the diff builder because his invoice stated the diff was "road ready", but didn't specifically state that it had no oil in it.

[halo]

lol how about losing to a kia anyone?

[Greenhorn]

lol i lost to a camira once i suppose that counts

[93edxr6]

working on car in drive way with a mate. starts raining so packed up fast got in to car to turn it round came out drive way floored it got to the top of 3rd gear and lost it. went up gutter hit brick wall 1500$ down the drain and not a mark on the car

[Gozza]

so you hit a brick wall at what? possibly 130 km/h?

[93edxr6]

ahah it was wet so it was spining in 3rd as i lost it i slamed on the brakes and slid up the guter. And then slid on the grass and hit the wall

[Gozza]

ahh ok i see ...

[pHaT`eL]

Rightioo0oo.

Epic Fail: My cream/grey interior

[SLY347]

3rd Gear Clutch kick with a tempermental LSD.......
That is all

[oneredED]

I have a couple

EPIC FAIL 1: Doing my oil return with sump still on car. I realised after the hole had been made, and the bottom of the bung welded on, that I couldn't reach the top of the bung with the mig welder, or any other welder. Try running the car anyway, but it leaks like a sieve. Try to weld again, creates big molten hole in sump. Feck.
Drop K-frame, pull sump, weld properly, put sump back in with new gasket, put car back together. Lower the car on the hoist. Put wheels back on. Get Ivan to check if car is clear. Lower car to ground level. Car has a sledge hammer stuck between sump and K-frame with the 2.5' handle extending towards the ground. Car falls off hoist. Ivan gets punched. Raise car again to find that the sledgehammer has pushed the sump into the crank/mains caps, but amazingly isn't leaking. Start car. Clank clank clank. Ok, yep it's hitting! Get panel beating tools out because CBF pulling sump again. Weld about 20 little studs to sump, and pull sump back into shape. Remove 18 of the studs, no holes! Remove last two studs, and it opens up two gaping holes in the sump.
Muffler putty with some "special shit" mixed in, and hole is patched. Drive car, realize sump gasket is leaking. Car back on hoist, tighten bolts on sump. Sump done.

EPIC FAIL 2: Using scissor jacks exclusively to swap wheels from one car to another. Jack started groaning so I grabbed an axle stand and went to put it under a chassis rail. The jack gave way with the stand only half way there, and the car landed (with no wheel) full weight onto the stand. The floor tore (the welds) away from the rail for about a foot, and i had a nice 6" lump in the drivers footwell.

EPIC FAIL 3: Being a true wet weather warrior and linking 5 sweeping corners lock to lock at 70-80km/h in the wet. Did about 3 runs that day, each perfect. Decide not to push my luck, and pull over for a smoke and then go home. Finished ciggie, jumped back in the car, selected D (yes, it was fucking auto, usually when being a warrior I'd leave it in 2nd) but I had to do a u-turn to go home. What the hell, may as well bag em up doing a u-turn. U-turn with the arse out, clicks into second (so wheel-speed of 140km/h). I decide to keep the foot into it and drift the next left hander. The car hit's full lock just before the apex, and the car slowly (~70km/h) drifts towards the exit of the corner. As the car crosses the double white lines traction becomes far less. The auto then decides that 3rd is a better gear than 2nd.... "AHHHHH YOU FUCKIN ****"... So anyways, rear wheel speed goes from 140, to about 205km/h. I try and hold it, and do for a while, but the car hit's another set of white lines again, I gradually lose it, and we spin backwards and through a gutter. I try to open my door and realise there is a 3' gum tree about 6" from my drivers door. Feck. Diff smashed (watts link), lot's of oil everywhere. Crunch crunch crunch, trailer time. Kuhmo is still imprinted on my inner guard to this day.

There's more, but far less interesting than these already boring three.

[[Sterling]]

Epic fail #3 is gold onereded

[93edxr6]

haha nothing like wet wether and a dam auto

[EDFalcon]

Epic Fail #1: Failing English

Fixed your first one....

[stalker]

epic fail 1, kia
epic fail 2, changing rear brake pads forgot to put the hand brake cable back on when done, rolled back into a tree ( only the tow bar hit VERY LUCKY)

[EdFairmontGhia]

Went to put some new brake pads onto the ED, jack the car up, then realise handbrake is on, car still sitting on the stand and me forgetting to chock any of the wheels and the car is on a slight hill i open the drivers door take off the hand brake and go back to the wheel where the brakes are now off. start fiddle farting around and i hear a creaking, look at the jack and see it's on a slight lean 2 seconds later car falls off the jack and rear disk almost crushed my foot, but luckily fell into the grass as opposed to the concrete.

[Fairmont888]

epic fail 1, kia

lol id been checking this just waiting for that

[[Sterling]]

LOL
epic fail #1 - washing car and using degreaser on tyre's
epic fail #2 - unmarked BF behind me when i pulled out.........sideways
all about an hour ago.

[needfordspeed]

lol, my epic fail would have to be the turbo conversion on DPORTD v1 being a student and earning like $100 a week was no time to do a turbo conversion.......i'm sure there's more just gotta remember them

[oneredED]

LOL
epic fail #1 - washing car and using degreaser on tyre's

LOL, I did work experience at HSV headquarters when I was ~15. They had me wash an SV300 (unreleased at the time, for those that don't they were over $100k) for a photoshoot with some magazine or something. Little did I know, of the two identical red buckets sitting next to each other, one was NOT TO BE USED for washing cars as one of the engineers had just cleaned up an AP V8 supercar caliper with brake cleaner in this bucket. Now, being only a work experience kid, and being told to use the RED bucket near the car and sponges etc to clean it, I wasn't about to ask "which red bucket?" when I noticed there were two for fear of being ridiculed. So, I filled up the bucket with car wash, and was just about to touch the sponge to the car when I hear "DOOOOOONNN'T FUCKIN' DO THAT YA USELESS KUNT!". Apparently brake cleaner eats paint (didn't know that at the time either). Luckily, I was caught JUST in time.

[old_mate]

#1 rebuilding the top end of my EA, cleaned up ports and shaved head. Lost on first race with a lancer. Couldnt work out why.

Slipped balancer meant the timing was way retarded

#2 suspect fuked diff in EL. Drove it banging and sht for about 3 months, finally saved up for a reco XR6 diff. Took it to diff place and the rear wheel nuts on LHS were finger tight. Still put in diff

#3 bought reco T5 of ebay for 600 bucks. Threw it in, wouldnt engage 1st gear. Spent another 600 on a exchange reco item and was happy

[G3R3N]

Epic fail 1: Trying to fix paint on side of EB with cheap autobarn shit which still looks like arse due to laziness.
Epic fail 2: Taking air-conditioning vents out and not being able to put them back in. Will most likely need a need dash altogether
Epiccest fail: Suggesting that a Buick L67 dropped into a Falcon is a good idea

[slo_sprint]

#1: When i put the new motor into the sprint after about 1000k's i went through and re-did the rockers and re-torqued the head and in the process dropped a washer into the intake manifold without realizing.

Cranked the motor over and it was making a strange ticking sound, long story short i pulled the passenger side head off to find a nice washer completely folded in half sitting on top of one of the pistons and a small mark where it had hit the head and folded over but only tiny.

I was effing lucky to say the least, ill add more when i think of them.

[old_mate]

#4 prying the fuel cap off the XY I have as well and losing most of it into the fuel tank

[Jim Beam]

I haven't epicly failed yet but I'm sure my turn is right around the corner.

[LTDHO]

EPIC FAIL 3: Being a true wet weather warrior and linking 5 sweeping corners lock to lock at 70-80km/h in the wet. Did about 3 runs that day, each perfect. Decide not to push my luck, and pull over for a smoke and then go home. Finished ciggie, jumped back in the car, selected D (yes, it was fucking auto, usually when being a warrior I'd leave it in 2nd) but I had to do a u-turn to go home. What the hell, may as well bag em up doing a u-turn. U-turn with the arse out, clicks into second (so wheel-speed of 140km/h). I decide to keep the foot into it and drift the next left hander. The car hit's full lock just before the apex, and the car slowly (~70km/h) drifts towards the exit of the corner. As the car crosses the double white lines traction becomes far less. The auto then decides that 3rd is a better gear than 2nd.... "AHHHHH YOU FUCKIN ****"... So anyways, rear wheel speed goes from 140, to about 205km/h. I try and hold it, and do for a while, but the car hit's another set of white lines again, I gradually lose it, and we spin backwards and through a gutter. I try to open my door and realise there is a 3' gum tree about 6" from my drivers door. Feck. Diff smashed (watts link), lot's of oil everywhere. Crunch crunch crunch, trailer time. Kuhmo is still imprinted on my inner guard to this day.

I love it, best so far!
I can imagin "AHHHHH YOU FUCKIN ****"...
ha ha

[ebmonty92]

jacked my car up with gay jacks out of my mates r31's boot to put stocky's on, got both wheels of went to put stockys on and one of the jacks snapped which caused the other one to fold on itself but hung in there just enough to stop the disc's hitting the ground. in the end there was 5 of us holding the car up while my mate quickly chucked the wheels on.
2 broken jacks later i was out doin twinny's

[Gozza]

Bought a HP4 Chip off ebay - waited for a few months to see if it was any good.... Chip torque said it was fucked......$280 bucks wasted

[nothin suss]

You guys have some funny fails, mine ar a bit lame compared but here goes...

FAIL #1 An assortment of **** ups in Geminis thinking i could drift like in the movies. Result was 2 written off and 2 retired from public roads due to battle damage. I guess the major fail here was actually owning probably 5 or 6 Geminis in my earlier days as a 'p-plater'

FAIL #2 Owning a stroked commodore for ages, set of tyres a fortnight, no decent skid pics

FAIL #3 Jumping an XF off a jump into a dam on top of a corolla @ 60. Killed my wrist, headbutted the steering wheel, luckily had a helmet. Wrist stil hurts 3 years later.

FAIL #4 Numerous **** ups at work and at home when working on cars. Mainly at home tho. I dont wanna talk about those... up$et$ me.

Aha... I knew i had a pic of the XF somewhere?? Here goes:

Im still trying to find Skid pics of commonwhore goodness, i know i have a crappy one somewhere!

[ebmonty92]

FAIL #3 Jumping an XF off a jump into a dam on top of a corolla @ 60. Killed my wrist, headbutted the steering wheel, luckily had a helmet. Wrist stil hurts 3 years later.

haha classic did the same sorta thing in a kingswood but into bushes not a dam lol

[93edxr6]

FAIL #2 not me but my step dad we use to race crash and bash cars (speed way). Any way after a hole day of driving round. It started to get late like 4am . So i went to bed 20 mins late hear car start up and see 2 dolfin torches tied to car and off it go's. wake up next morning to find race car up to its roof in dam with vb cans floating around it. (we had to go racing that day) so 6 am hilux and winch in dam geting car out. got car runing didnt take that long. went racing and finished 2nd overall on the day


have pics to prove but there at mums will scan it when i go home next