Page 1 of 2

You know you're a racer when....

PostPosted: October 20th, 2008, 6:14 pm
by Rollin
Possible repost? I love it anyway - I highlighted the bits that I thought were particularly applicable :P


-You think the primary purpose of wings is to PREVENT flight.

-You take your helmet along when you go to buy new eyeglasses or check out new cars.

-You feel compelled on a road trip to beat your previous time.

-You are happiest when your streetcar’s tires are worn to racing depth (wear bars showing).

-When something falls off your car, you wonder how much weight you just saved.

-When you hear ‘overcooked it’, instead of food, you think ‘off the track’.

-You change engine oil every other week.

-You sometimes hear little noises from your passengers when you get on the throttle right after turning in.

-You really enjoy showing the tailgater how to drive around a highway off ramp.

-Your racing budget is one of the big three – mortgage, car payments, dating.

-Your email address refers to your racecar rather than you.

-You walk proper lines through the grocery store.

-You have paid $4 for a gallon of fuel without complaining.

-You buy new parts because you can’t remember where you stuck the spares.

-You bought a racecar before buying a house.

-You bought a racecar before furniture for the house.

-You are looking for a tow vehicle and you still have not bought furniture.

-You find that you need a new house because you’ve outgrown your garage and the neighbors are threatening violence if you park one more vehicle on the street or in the front yard.

-The requirements you give your real estate agent are (in order of importance):

1. 8 car climate controlled garage with an attached shop.

2. Outside parking for 6 cars, a motor home, a crew cab dually, a 28’ enclosed trailer and a 34’ 5th wheel.

3. 3 phase 220V outlets in the garage.

4. A grease pit.

5. Deaf neighbors.

7. Across the street from a paint and body shop.

8. Some sort of house with a working toilet and shower on the property somewhere -or- hookups for the motor home.

- You measure all family acquisitions in terms of the number of race tires that could have been purchased.

- You sit in your racecar in a dark garage and make car noises and shift and practice your heel and toe, while waiting for your motor to get back from the machine shop.

-You look at the purchase of tools as a long-term investment.

-Your wife says "if you buy another set of tires, she gets a new diamond".

-Your garage holds more cars than your house has bedrooms.

-You have enough spare parts to build another car.

-More than one racer supply house knows your voice and calls you by name.

-You have car parts in your cubicle at work.

-You think that the last line of the star spangled banner is "Gentlemen, start your engines".

- You cannot remember the last time you relaxed on a weekend.

-You’re registered for wedding gifts at Tire Rack, CDOC and the Racers Group.

-Your Christmas list begins with a set of BFG R1’s (bonus points if your wife knows what they are)

-You have a separate drawer for garage clothes.

-Your bathroom reading material is Car & Driver, AutoWeek, and Grassroots Motorsports and every book Carrol Smith has ever written.

-People only recognize you when you have your helmet on.

-You talk to other cars on the road calling them by their manufacturers name.

-Your first date involves you getting her to crew for you.

-Your family vacations are planned around the race schedule.

-You astound the clerk at Sears by breaking a breaker bar every week or two.

-You remember the dates of every race you have entered, but can’t remember the wife’s birthday.

-You complain when cars in front of you on highway off ramps don’t stay on their line causing your exit speed to drop.

-A neighbor asks to borrow some oil and you reply "Synthetic or Organic", he responds "Vegetable".

-You enjoy driving in the rain on the way to work/school.

-You always-late apex the intersection and try to pass a few cars coming out.

-You always do a heel & toe downshift while whoever might be your passenger looks at you really funny.

-You can’t stand understeer.

-You think traction control and ABS is for those who do not know how to drive.

-You’ve tried to convince your wife that you need a flow bench to fix the air filter in her mini van.

-You discovered that your riding lawnmower runs pretty well on 108-octane race fuel but doesn’t care for alcohol.

-The local police and state patrol has photos of your car taped to their dashboards.

-The local tire shop will not honor the tread life warranty on any car you have been within 50 yards of.

-You consider the redline as a conservative suggestion and the rev limiter as a fun limiter.

-You spend more on insurance premiums than food.

-When someone referrers to the "good book" you think of the technical specs book for your car.

-You own 5 cars and only one of them is street legal.

-You know the ¼ mile times and skid pad numbers for your riding lawnmower.

And you want to improve them.

-You know the "racing line" of every road on your daily commute.

-You have started looking for sponsors for your daily commute.

-You have slalomed in a construction zone and counted penalty points in the rear view mirror.

-After your suggestion of a location for the family vacation, your wife responds: "What race is being held there"?

-You know the weight of your passengers and make them sit accordingly to balance the weight distribution.

-The local police department sends you Christmas greeting cards.

- You memorized the number on your oil filter but forgot your wifes birthday.

- You happily will be get up at three in the morning to race, but complain about getting up at six to get to work on time.

Re: You know you're a racer when....

PostPosted: October 20th, 2008, 6:31 pm
by AaronEF8
ROFL, funny shit. And so true.
-Your bathroom reading material is Car & Driver, AutoWeek, and Grassroots Motorsports and every book Carrol Smith has ever written.

But why wasn't that highlighted? :P

Re: You know you're a racer when....

PostPosted: October 20th, 2008, 7:35 pm
by oneredED
-You always do a heel & toe downshift while whoever might be your passenger looks at you really funny.


-You know the weight of your passengers and make them sit accordingly to balance the weight distribution.


-You complain when cars in front of you on highway off ramps don’t stay on their line causing your exit speed to drop.


-You think traction control and ABS is for those who do not know how to drive.


Hahaha, add these to the bolded list :twisted:

Re: You know you're a racer when....

PostPosted: October 20th, 2008, 8:01 pm
by TWR40T
LMFAO so many of them are true... :D

Re: You know you're a racer when....

PostPosted: October 20th, 2008, 9:05 pm
by 67rce
- The local council decides they don't need to pave your street with the new rubberised bitumen as you have done a good enough job

Re: You know you're a racer when....

PostPosted: October 21st, 2008, 7:05 am
by Malakai
-You have car parts in your cubicle at work.

Guilty I have wheel bearings floating around my desk. My work computer's My Documents folder is full of wiring diagrams, manuals and PDFs for EEC-IV and various aftermarket ECUs.

Re: You know you're a racer when....

PostPosted: October 21st, 2008, 7:59 am
by Gunns
- You gargle C16

- You believe that LPG is only for cooking BBQs

- Suggested corrnering speed need to be doubled

Re: You know you're a racer when....

PostPosted: October 21st, 2008, 8:03 am
by EFFalcon
Gunns wrote:- You believe that LPG is only for cooking BBQs


i'm no racer then :P

Re: You know you're a racer when....

PostPosted: October 21st, 2008, 8:21 am
by KR1STO
hahah.... good laugh... so true though..

Re: You know you're a racer when....

PostPosted: October 21st, 2008, 8:51 am
by Gozza
when you flat shift any manual you get in regardless of the vehicle

Re: You know you're a racer when....

PostPosted: October 21st, 2008, 9:04 am
by BlackED_Sprint
oneredED wrote:
-You always do a heel & toe downshift while whoever might be your passenger looks at you really funny.


-You know the weight of your passengers and make them sit accordingly to balance the weight distribution.


-You complain when cars in front of you on highway off ramps don’t stay on their line causing your exit speed to drop.


-You think traction control and ABS is for those who do not know how to drive.


Hahaha, add these to the bolded list :twisted:


so thats why you always want me to sit in the middle... :D

Re: You know you're a racer when....

PostPosted: October 21st, 2008, 9:31 am
by donno
-You complain when cars in front of you on highway off ramps don’t stay on their line causing your exit speed to drop.
-You look at the purchase of tools as a long-term investment.
-You have a separate drawer for garage clothes.
-You cannot remember the last time you relaxed on a weekend.

Me to a T.

Re: You know you're a racer when....

PostPosted: October 21st, 2008, 1:41 pm
by Bipolar
I'd add these to Rollin's bolded list
-You really enjoy showing the tailgater how to drive around a highway off ramp.

-You buy new parts because you can’t remember where you stuck the spares.

-You have a separate drawer for garage clothes.

-Your reading material is Street Fords, Wheels, Zoom and FreeStyle

-You know the weight of your passengers and make them sit accordingly to balance the weight distribution.

I thought I was the only one that was that thought about that last one :?
-You always do a heel & toe downshift while whoever might be your passenger looks at you really funny.

This only half applies to me coz they don't seem to notice.

Re: You know you're a racer when....

PostPosted: October 21st, 2008, 5:18 pm
by Wave_Man
lol

My uncle Lives by himself and has a 9 car garage and a three bedroom house...
In the garage is a XY - with just about everything you could ever do to one - His own hoist - about 50 billion V8 heads - Blocks etc etc

His just waiting for his 520 stoker to be ready for the XY... :twisted:

Re: You know you're a racer when....

PostPosted: October 21st, 2008, 8:12 pm
by oneredED
BlackED_Sprint wrote:
oneredED wrote:
-You always do a heel & toe downshift while whoever might be your passenger looks at you really funny.


-You know the weight of your passengers and make them sit accordingly to balance the weight distribution.


-You complain when cars in front of you on highway off ramps don’t stay on their line causing your exit speed to drop.


-You think traction control and ABS is for those who do not know how to drive.


Hahaha, add these to the bolded list :twisted:


so thats why you always want me to sit in the middle... :D


BUSTED! :oops:


;)

Gunns wrote:- Suggested cornering speed need to be doubled

True!
Gozza wrote:when you flat shift any manual you get in regardless of the vehicle

Hahahaha, amen to that.

Re: You know you're a racer when....

PostPosted: October 22nd, 2008, 11:05 am
by serial_fool
When you draft the vechile in front of you to conserve fuel or perform a "sling-shot" maneuver around a corner Days of Thunder spec.

Re: You know you're a racer when....

PostPosted: October 22nd, 2008, 12:37 pm
by t1MMy
When Ricky Bobby quotes such as, "shake N bake!" become a daily part of your vocabulary.

Re: You know you're a racer when....

PostPosted: October 22nd, 2008, 11:49 pm
by TWR40T
What about when you wake up in your red race car bed...you cant forget that lol :D

Re: You know you're a racer when....

PostPosted: October 27th, 2008, 12:17 am
by EB Booster
You think it’s cool to plant it then take your foot off quickly then plant it again to make it sound like a manual :? my m8 does it in his fuc*ing gay magna

Re: You know you're a racer when....

PostPosted: October 27th, 2008, 1:04 am
by Rollin
EB Booster wrote:You think it’s cool to plant it then take your foot off quickly then plant it again to make it sound like a manual :? my m8 does it in his fuc*ing gay magna


I think that's just being gay....because if you're a roundy-roundy racer you have an actual manual...and if you like going straight you have kitted auto and boast about it...

Re: You know you're a racer when....

PostPosted: October 27th, 2008, 6:02 am
by 67rce
Your Auto has a *real* shift kit, not one of the newfangled electronic ones

Re: You know you're a racer when....

PostPosted: October 27th, 2008, 8:25 am
by edfairmont4.0
Some funny stuff! some very true :P - 67rce electronic shift kit FTW! :lol:

Re: You know you're a racer when....

PostPosted: October 27th, 2008, 10:19 am
by Gozza
Rollin wrote:
EB Booster wrote:You think it’s cool to plant it then take your foot off quickly then plant it again to make it sound like a manual :? my m8 does it in his fuc*ing gay magna


I think that's just being gay....because if you're a roundy-roundy racer you have an actual manual...and if you like going straight you have kitted auto and boast about it...



thats because they are better

electronic shift kits are sh!t

Re: You know you're a racer when....

PostPosted: October 27th, 2008, 10:45 am
by TUFED6
Rollin wrote:-You walk proper lines through the grocery store.



I think all revheads do this. I'm assuming they are talking about with a trolley too.

I'll add that I enter the aisles late and slide wide and usually brush the shelves on the exit. Cos its more fun that way.

Re: You know you're a racer when....

PostPosted: October 27th, 2008, 11:08 am
by Gozza
im usually sideways with the shopping trolley at the apex of each aisle lol

Re: You know you're a racer when....

PostPosted: October 27th, 2008, 1:02 pm
by serial_fool
I'm more of a over and under trolley driver. Come up to the corner, flick it left or right to set up for the turn, then hit the apex for maxium speed for the straight.

This stuff always gives me the edge at any bumper car rides at the show.


-You know you're a racer when you spend more per annum on go-fast bits than necesities like food and toothpaste.

Re: You know you're a racer when....

PostPosted: October 27th, 2008, 5:28 pm
by Bipolar
I do that too, for max speed. On the rare occasion I'm not using a basket.

Re: You know you're a racer when....

PostPosted: October 28th, 2008, 10:04 am
by edfairmont4.0
+ me for the sideways shopping trolley entering the isle :lol: Funny stuff!

Re: You know you're a racer when....

PostPosted: October 28th, 2008, 5:08 pm
by 67rce
Gozza wrote:im usually sideways with the shopping trolley at the apex of each aisle lol


Hell yea, shopping trolley drifting FTMFW

Re: You know you're a racer when....

PostPosted: October 28th, 2008, 6:28 pm
by pHaT`eL
Gozza wrote:im usually sideways with the shopping trolley at the apex of each aisle lol

Haha, so true, Bethany usually takes the trolley now as I slide into the aisle, then shelf to shelf it up the aisle, sometimes I dose.

Re: You know you're a racer when....

PostPosted: October 28th, 2008, 8:09 pm
by t1MMy
pHaT`eL wrote:
Gozza wrote:im usually sideways with the shopping trolley at the apex of each aisle lol

sometimes I dose.


LOL ahahah I was waiting for someone to own up on that 1

Re: You know you're a racer when....

PostPosted: October 29th, 2008, 7:36 am
by Eb Barbie
pHaT`eL wrote:
Gozza wrote:im usually sideways with the shopping trolley at the apex of each aisle lol

Haha, so true, Bethany usually takes the trolley now as I slide into the aisle, then shelf to shelf it up the aisle, sometimes I dose.


Its true, quite humiliating having a 22 year old bf dosing the trolley in the supermarket!! One of these day your gonna stack it and knock everything off the end of an isle, then I will laugh :P

Re: You know you're a racer when....

PostPosted: October 29th, 2008, 7:53 am
by edfairmont4.0
dosing a trolley ROFL! good idea! Im inspired :lol:

Re: You know you're a racer when....

PostPosted: October 29th, 2008, 8:01 am
by Bipolar
Phew, I'm not nuts then. I do a bit of spool and BOVing whenever I speed up, but that's everywhere, not just with a trolley :?

Re: You know you're a racer when....

PostPosted: October 29th, 2008, 8:05 am
by edfairmont4.0
lollllll ill get that sound on my stereo so i sound like i am :? :lol:

Re: You know you're a racer when....

PostPosted: October 29th, 2008, 12:01 pm
by Gozza
Bipolar wrote:Phew, I'm not nuts then. I do a bit of spool and BOVing whenever I speed up, but that's everywhere, not just with a trolley :?



Yeah when i go running with Nat ill slow down a bit to make some distance between us....then sprint while making a spooling sound...then dose as i pass her lol

quite gay when you think about it

Re: You know you're a racer when....

PostPosted: October 29th, 2008, 3:21 pm
by Eb Barbie
This is really starting to sound familiar!! You boys are all the same :roll: :lol:

Re: You know you're a racer when....

PostPosted: October 29th, 2008, 3:43 pm
by pHaT`eL
If I stack it, it will be 'drift damage' :) "Almost had it bro.."

Re: You know you're a racer when....

PostPosted: October 29th, 2008, 5:10 pm
by Rollin
Gozza wrote:
Bipolar wrote:Phew, I'm not nuts then. I do a bit of spool and BOVing whenever I speed up, but that's everywhere, not just with a trolley :?



Yeah when i go running with Nat ill slow down a bit to make some distance between us....then sprint while making a spooling sound...then dose as i pass her lol

quite gay when you think about it


ROFLRUNDOSE!

My god I would pmsl if I was walking down the road and heard someone do that!

Re: You know you're a racer when....

PostPosted: October 29th, 2008, 5:50 pm
by big-fella
Dahahahahaha i thought i was the only person who shopping trolly drifts. This thread has made me feel sane again (kinda)