Well, my gf's old man found me this monster sitting quietly in a used car lot in a country town in South Gippsland. The dealer had no idea of the goldmine he was sitting on when he sold it... Since less-is-more (according to the latest Girlfriend magazine), I bought it with no roady, no rego, no power, no sound-deadening, no class, and no brakes. And I mean, no brakes. They're so bad that when I fired it up for the first time, put my foot on the brake and released the handbrake, it rolled forwards & into the gutter. Gears slow this thing down (although I haven't tried a compression-lock yet, when the tyres say "Made in West Germany" and have the texture of UV-damaged Bakelite, you know they're there for show only. I drove (all night, just to get back home) 100kms on a country highway in this beast.
No wet towels here.
^^^ someone GIF that shit, it deserves to be animated.
Anyway as you've probably gathered, it's been owned by a previous forum member; Tony Martin. After practicing on his parents' cars he went for third-time-lucky, and was fore-armed with the knowledge that only the best Dulux and rollers will do. WILDEB gave advice on the rear garnish, since this is a Toyota-badged car. The results speak for themselves.
But wait, there's more!
Genuine replica HOMO steering wheel. I think the fuel gauge works, and the speedo jumps erratically until you reach 40kph, before settling into an undulating pitch & roll - much like the ute's ride quality on flat roads.
This isn't an odometer, it's a day counter. This is how many days LUXO_8 has been an ongoing project for.
XF Ghia-inspired climate control; those flaps are multi-directional. "VENT, BI-LEVEL, and HEAT" don't do anything, but I suspect they're titles for 1980s gay porn novels penned by Stephenie Meyer, adapted into vampire movies some 25 years later. The push-buttons and numbers to the lower left are either some kind of vintage boost setting, or a Rubik's Abacus.
Tickford Wastegate sub. Pumps out the bass in John Laws' golden voice. Housing commission carpet is Xzibit-approved (awaiting Wilson Approval), and installed by Phat Custom Kits (they now do interiors).
Recaros, bitches
2JZ no shit. Actually, it's an SOHC 2.2L diesel. Wikipedia says this monster pumps out 87hp (lol). Since Asians are smaller people, I think the same applies with what they base horsepower on.
ROR ^_^
Dark Asians.
Anyway I'm looking at painting this up with something offensive. Any photoshop gurus out there want to make something up for me?
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