by Commando » October 26th, 2007, 8:29 am
Back at uni I had a "supervising lecturer" for a final year project I was working on. The problem with this was, my lecturer didn't really offer any input into my project, in fact all he'd seem to do would be to get in the damn way. We'd have a weekly "progress meeting" where I'd go in & would tell him how I've been progressing with my work, and then he'd try and get me to do off-topic tasks or to cut out vital parts, or to reword something that's short & concise into something looooooong and vague that would confuse the reader.
Here's a typical transcript of a progress meeting (note, "Owen" was a classmate also doing a project, "Bickerton" was another classmate who he didn't like for some reason -plus only Mustafa referred to this guy as "Bickerton", and he spoke with a Kermit The Frog voice overlaid with an arabic accent):
<Dave> (walks into office)
<Mustafa> Have a seat, how are you? Is it hot in here?
<Dave> I'm fine thanks
<Mustafa> Are you sure?
<Dave> Yes
<Mustafa> Are you certain?
<Dave> I am sure and certain that I am not hot
<Mustafa> (directs his attention towards the desk fan that's blowing on me) Is the fan hurting you?
<Dave> Is it what?
<Mustafa> The fan. It is hurting you.
<Dave> Umm, as far as I'm aware it isn't hurting me?
<Mustafa> Do you want me to do something about the fan?
<Dave> ("here we go… a 20 minute progress meeting will turn into an hour-long farce") No Mustafa, the fan is fine where it is
<Mustafa> You sound like you're just being polite about the fan. I will redirect it for you
<Mustafa> (adjusts fan, my project papers blow everywhere)
<Mustafa> Oh my, look at what the fan has done!
<Dave> It's fine Mustafa, I can pick them up
<Mustafa> You haven't lost anything have you?
<Dave> Nothing disappeared Mustafa, at worst I'll have a couple of sheets out of order which will be pretty quick to fix up
<Mustafa> Are you certain you have not lost any papers? Because the fan did blow them away
<Dave> Your office door is shut. The fan blew the papers off my lap and onto the floor next to my feet. I can see all the papers on the floor next to my feet, I think it's fairly safe to say that none of my papers have disappeared.
<Mustafa> OK, I will redirect the fan
<Dave> Whatever
<Dave> (sits back up, fan is blowing on me again)
<Mustafa> Oh I see I have redirected it onto you again. Are you *certain* the fan is not hurting you?
<Dave> It's FINE Mustafa. Can we talk about my project please? I'm afraid I'm busy this arvo & have other work to do (I indicate to my open bag, with Chemistry, VicRoads and Traffic Engineering work on display)
<Mustafa> Other work? What can be more important than your project?
<Dave> (points to bag)
<Mustafa> So tell me David, how is Owen? I must tell you I am not happy with his progress, for some reason he keeps avoiding me.
<Dave> (thinks to self, Owen if only I was as smart as you) I haven't seen Owen lately. Now, about my project
*** by this time, the sun has set a little and is now shining through the window ***
<Mustafa> Oh look at the sun, shining through the window like that! Can you see David?
<Dave> Yes, I can see Mustafa
<Mustafa> No, you are not understanding me. Can you see your papers?
<Dave> Yes, I can see my papers Mustafa
<Mustafa> (sounds like HE is the one trying to deal with a retard) No David you are still not understanding me. Can you read your papers fine despite the sunlight pouring through the window. CLEAR?
<Dave> Mustafa I can read the papers still, the sunlight isn't bothering me! CLEAR.
<Mustafa> I will get up and close the curtains. Are you OK with this?
<Dave> I'd rather we just begin discussing my project
<Mustafa> Yes, I will get up and close the curtains. That will make us both happy. I want you to be happy, because you are like a son to me. I treat all my students like my children, except... Bickerton.
<Dave> (FFS…)
<Mustafa> (closes curtains)
<Mustafa> (back at desk) Oh I see it is a little dark in here now. Do you want the office light on? I will switch it on for you.
<Mustafa> (gets up, eventually finds light switch) Where is Owen?
I really could go on forever with this, but I think you get the point. Every meeting with him was a nightmare where you got about two words in and he spent the rest of the time bumbling.
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