Funniest eavesdrop ever

[Commando]

Commando partook in the FUNNIEST trainride home last night! Some skanks got on the train at Dandenong, and another skank got on at Pakenham & confronted one of the Dandy skanks. Paky Skank's opening line: "Oi, you f**ked my boyfriend." The whole carriage went silent. Here's a basic transcript of what went down.

<Pakenham skank (P)> Oi, you f**ked my boyfriend.
<Dandenong skank (D)> ... omigod what are you on about?
<P> don't act like you didn't do it. My sister saw him come from your room naked at the party!
<D> I... I don't remember
<P> Josh (boyfriend) CONFESSED to me today! Don't f**ken bullshit me
<D> I... I didn't do it I swear!
<P> You know if you weren't my friend I'd f**ken smash you right now, right here in the train in front of everyone!
<D> I honestly can't remember! I was pretty wasted
<P> (pissing & moaning & threatening)
<D> (starts crying & apologising)

I started to zone out here for a while & kept reading my book, coz it sounded like a catfight wasn't going to happen. And THEN...

<P> Josh is a cvnt, he has GENITAL WARTS you know!
<D> omigod don't say that!
<P> you know he gave them to me. Bastard. But for every wart that I have, he has at least ten.
<Dave interrupts> BWAHAHAHAHAHA! (Dave quickly hides behind seat... conversation continues)
<D> OMIGOD I don't want to catch genital warts! (cries again)
<P> yeah, well that's what you get for f**king my boyfriend. You know, once you get them, you'll never get rid of it, you have them for life
<D> (LOTS of crying)

Then somehow the conversation changed topic AND kind of got friendly, they started talking about typical white trash stuff like how D's brother turned himself in to the "Jack Shop" (cops I presume) because he was "on the drugs" (that killed River Phoenix?), and "P" was saying that her cuz taught her how to rap (and started rapping some older Eminem stuff), and then there was something about their favourite premixed drink, UDLs vs Southern Comfort. Southern won out & they seemed like frenz-4-eva xx after that.

One of my mates from Pakenham has a strange habit of avoiding teh 18yos and chasing the 35+2s, but after overhearing how these 17-19yos talk, I don't blame him for the generational shift.

Anyone else got some funny eavesdropping stories?

[glenneaux]

haha **** i hate getting the train

[Damo]

Trains are epic fun. I'm going to go catch one right now.

[Commando]

Love Train, Damo?

[OED666]

LOL... love the story... i generally get a train with freaks...

[Bipolar]

Watching the downeys smack each other on the train is pretty amusing. It's usually just all of them smacking the one smartarse, who just keeps continuing to be a smartarse.

[Airved]

I love domestic disputes in public. Walking through the bus interchange with a friend a while back, this dude in a beanie was talking to this feral-looking chick when another feral chick walks up and just smashes him in the back of the head. They start a screamfest at each other and the chick he was originally talking to starts to leave. The second chick turns and screams at her "Where you goin'!? Why don't you come back here and just f*** my boyfriend! I know he would do you!"

At this time, my friend and I had burst out laughing and the pissed chick looks at us. We just stared back trying not to laugh and she went crazy-go-nuts! She started screaming at us (something along the lines of "we're all low-life kents") and then turned and kept at it with her boyfriend. She slapped him two more times, then walked off in tears, while he called her a wh*re, etc.

Pretty memorable, but not as memorable as the time in high school when one of the meatheads called all the girls in our social group "frigid sluts".

[Damo]

Love Train, Damo?

Nah. LOL

There was a token fat gut on the train eating some form of a pie and an orange coles brand soft drink can, token old couple who sat next to 14 yo teeny bopper with iPod making her feel uncomfortable and uncool. Then there was the token hot chick who happened to sit opposite but 2 seats across from me, I coulda beat one out in 2 seconds flat just by looking at her. Most gorgeous girl I've seen today by far (my sister was out today Dave). Har har.

[TUFED6]

Love Train, Damo?

Nah. man train

fixed.

Also trains suck, I haven't got on one since '97, and don't plan to unless I can possibly avoid it.

Trains were over for me when I was in the usual peak our sardine session and some drunk bum got on and proceeded to piss himself. It was one of those older hitachi trains with rubber floors and the piss just sloshed around everywhere. What a fcuken disgrace.

Trains FTL.

[Damo]

I'll run a Train on you TOFED6.

I'll reiterate, Trains are epic fun. There's one of every kind, on every train, at every time of the day. I'm not sure which one I am though.

Dave you shoulda pulled your pants down for P & D and said 'got warts ?'

[Malakai]

From our weekly mini-meet at Aspley here in Brisbane. I suppose that you could say that I overheard this conversation, even though I was technically in the same group. I sure as hell wasn't going to join in...

Drunk New Zealand chic (imagine the accent) that came out of nowhere to ask for a cigarette lighter says to Raebird: "So you don't talk to strangers then?"

Raebird: "Well what do you want to talk about?"

Drunk NZ chic nearly dropping the the bottle of passion pop that she was swigging out of and almost in tears: "Why is life so fvcked!!!!!!"

Raebird and everyone else: COMPLETE SILENCE

...Later she dropped such one liners as "All men are chauvinist pigs!" and "What you all just stand around here all night talking about cars?" Before skipping off to her parked/abandoned 4WD. She said something about the cops in Australia as well. I can't remember exactly now, someone else might though.

[Damo]

NZ chick sounds like a real trooper.

[nommic]

I remember early last year coming home from my girlfriend at the time's place, fairly hung over on the train.

So I get onto a carriage and there's maybe one other person in it, at the other end.

Then just before the train leaves Southern Cross this bloke in shorts (on a cold day?) and crappy sunnies walks in quickly and sits down on the bench opposite me with his legs stretched out. I mean come on... he could have found any other completely deserted row and practically used it as a bed. About two minutes after leaving Southern Cross he frigging falls asleep and starts snoring...

I much prefer driving over public transport. Especially out here where PT is frigging useless most of the time.

[Damo]

it sucks when you don't have a choice in the matter.

[sphell]

Love Train, Damo?

Nah. man train

fixed.

Also trains suck, I haven't got on one since '97, and don't plan to unless I can possibly avoid it.

Trains were over for me when I was in the usual peak our sardine session and some drunk bum got on and proceeded to piss himself. It was one of those older hitachi trains with rubber floors and the piss just sloshed around everywhere. What a fcuken disgrace.

Trains FTL.

Trains are the worst. I barely ever take the train anywhere but most recently we got one for Oaks Day and this 70yo woman spewed her guts up on the way to Flemington. The worst thing was the carriage was on an angle and I was on the 'down' side lol. Everyone cleared a massive space around her which was a fair effort since we were squashed in like sardines anyway. Then on the train back to Spencer St at the end of the day the same thing happened but this time a young chick....funny thing was no one cared this time. Alcohol's a wonderful thing. Moral of the story is.....just get blind drunk before you take a train and they won't seem as bad.

[Damo]

you guys are od'ing. Trains are good I swear.

[Sunboost]

Love Train, Damo?

Nah. man train

fixed.

Also trains suck, I haven't got on one since '97, and don't plan to unless I can possibly avoid it.

Trains were over for me when I was in the usual peak our sardine session and some drunk bum got on and proceeded to piss himself. It was one of those older hitachi trains with rubber floors and the piss just sloshed around everywhere. What a fcuken disgrace.

Trains FTL.

Long time hater first time poster about the hate here. I use trains for the daily commute, they are fucked.

Those Hitachi trains - I know them all too well. They have square wheels and shit. Fkn dogboxes.

The new Alstom ones sway side to side so much they make you sick.

Best ones are the original Connex eastern suburbs refurb'ed old ones. They are comfy and spacy and just better than the new ones.

The **** that catch trains during the day are fucked. Morning and arvo are alright. I have too many stories to tell but I cbf.

[Damo]

tell stories SUNJET

[Damo]

I remember when trains had windows you could open. Those were the days. Anyone else on the Lilydale line hate the tag VOSK, VOS, VOSKO etc, what a shit kent. He gets up everywhere, do a piece you fucking gay homostobic kent.

[Commando]

Homad I could get warts from just looking in P & D's direction. Hell, I felt sorry for whoever sat on the seats after them.

One bonus with trains stopping at busy stations in the day - boobies. You just stare out the window at a rack 2m from you, you look up and her face contorts with indignation and rage from your staring, and you look back down at her tits, thinking to yourself "**** you, the doors have closed and you're never going to see me again to take it out on me. Thanks for the mammaries "

[Eb Barbie]

I havent got the train since new years. I used to get it alot before me or my friends had cars. I always hated getting it from franga though. So much rat piss there, pretty scary for young teenage gals on their own!

[Bipolar]

One bonus with trains stopping at busy stations in the day - boobies. You just stare out the window at a rack 2m from you, you look up and her face contorts with indignation and rage from your staring, and you look back down at her tits, thinking to yourself "**** you, the doors have closed and you're never going to see me again to take it out on me. Thanks for the mammaries "

LOLESTATION!

[Steady]

I used to catch trains as a young fella on the old wheelie board to get into the city, but I avoid them now.
Last time I caught a train was like 2 years ago, going to frostbites, and a mate pissed in a bottle on the train, put the lid on and left it there.

[nommic]

Now that's class.

[Commando]

Hire busses are worse As I've mentioned in another thread, our bucks party bus came back with a slight hint of urine on the back seat & rear window (someone thought it would be smart to piss out of the window at 100kph... the backspray covered most of the inside of the rear of the bus), it was missing a window, and the dude who hired it got a fine from the EPA in the mail yesterday, something about littering in Springvale at 3.30am

[five point slow]

Anyone else on the Lilydale line hate the tag VOSK, VOS, VOSKO etc, what a shit kent. He gets up everywhere, do a piece you fucking gay homostobic kent.

I saw on the news tonight he was in the poo.