Useless Poll #1: Road rage

[Bipolar]

I selected the top one. It's what gave me inspiration for my login name, coz I'm usually pretty happy while behind the wheel. Wanna see what is considered "normal".


*'need weapons' is figurative

[oneredED]

I get very very angry behind the wheel with utterly incompetent drivers who aren't slow, but those who do stupid shit and obviously have no clue. Or the dickhead P platers (yes I'm making a generalisation, but if you don't like it then **** off) cutting people off unnecessarily with no indicator only to change straight back etc etc. I have hurled bottles and other things I've had at hand, but I've never managed to connect one. If nothing else is available, I'll try to drive the **** off the road if they're acting like enough of a dickwad (ie. cutting off an obviously insecure L-plater on purpose).

Flame me all you like, I'll just tell you to get fucked

[slo_sprint]

A simple one finger salute and an abrupt "fck you cnt" for me. No use getting too worked up for the most part anyway they're usually brain dead.

[[Sterling]]

i use alot of " u suck at it" and Fuckin turkey! or hey muppet nice driving!
EDIT and im a learner so if you start getting abused by me youve probly done somthing wrong

[Steady]

I'm on and off.
If I'm shitty and someone cuts me off, I will do anything to get in front of them. Emergency lane etc.
Its all about showing the kents that I own the road, not them.
Now I have the F6, I've taken to going full boost up to their open drivers window, and getting off it, on the assumption that my stock dose is as loud outside the car as it is inside.
Otherwise just the hands in the air and a "you fucken wozzle" will suffice.

[nommic]

If a dickhead does something retarded in front of me I'll give them a flash of the highbeams but also keep away from them in traffic... especially if they're driving a shitbox. Usually though it's some braindead soccer mum or accountant with two kids in the back seat.

I got home once to find shit on the rear windscreen and boot (think it was a cup-a-soup or something ), probably from some wanker that'd been behind me at a couple of lights and thought I was the idiot for slowing down when the grandma in front of me did. I was mega-pissed when I found all that crap on my car... if I'd actually seen them do it or if they'd tried to verbally abuse me things probably would've gotten heated.

[Dansedgli]

Usually though it's some braindead soccer mum or accountant with two kids in the back seat.

Get fucked! Accountants are mad kents.

[nommic]

So are soccer mums, but that's another story

[five point slow]

I've gone off tap at a few complete dropkicks. I try to bait people who don't indicate when I'm driving the Patrol. Bullbar > car.

[Dansedgli]

I've gone off tap at a few complete dropkicks. I try to bait people who don't indicate when I'm driving the Patrol. Bullbar > car.

+ 1

Maverick with tyres out of the guards 3 inches = Motorcyclists revenge

[Malakai]

There has to be a few incidents with clueless space cadets in short succession before I cut sick. It has happened though. I'm a very offensive driver though (offensive as in the opposite of defensive), so I often see someone do something cheeky and say to myself "I did that the other day" and let it slide. Sometimes the ignorance or stupidity is off the chart though and I get a bit crazy though.

[krisisdog]

I've gone off my fukin tree at a few people before, but normally i just shake my head and say wtf with some hand gestures.
Almost killed some numbnut towing a caravan today when he tried to pull out of maccas. you need to look both ways when you cross traffic. I fekin smashed my brake pedal thru the floor. he got option number 1.
normally i jump on the gas when people pull out in front of me and think they'll get away with it easily. not so fukers.

[Sunboost]

My horns never work so I can't even beep. I just stare 'em down if they do minor sht but they usually know anyways when they fk up.

Sht drivers FTL.

[Rollin]

I usually let pretty much everything slide - if I have a passenger I'll make a comment to them like "Oh good one you fkwit!" when another driver does something stupid, but occasionally some kent will do something that flicks a switch in my head and I go berzerk - I've managed to not get out of the car so far but there have been a few times when I've nearly dragged someone out of their car and beaten them to death with my bare hands.

Ways to flick my switch:

1: I position myself beside a gap in traffic to change lanes, indicate, and the person behind in the next lane speeds up to close the gap - Oh God, so gay, it's not like I drive slowly or am trying to squeeze in or anything, one day some kent is going to fken cop it for that.

2: There is a whole crapload of traffic calming chicanes on the way to and from work, where only one car can fit through at a time. I usually let people come through if they are closer than I am or travelling faster, and usually people will do the same for me. But there are a few people in 4wds that just come through regardless, there have been a few times I have had to stop dead to avoid hitting them when I'm nearly out the other side of the chicane, because they just come straight through, even though there is no way they can fit.

The next kent that does that I'm just going to fken hit hey, absolute wankers. The xr has full comp and it wouldn't be my fault anyway.


/rant. *Ah, I feel better already*

[SLY347]

Work ute - Dont give a ****, but so many stupid, mindless fuckheads out there. I see the result of so many re-enders cause people dont give enough breaking room
My car - **** sake, when I light turn green, it means go, not sit there and admire how much it looks like your emerald necklace!People right up your arse stuck at a set of lights on a hill..some cars have a clutch you know!

And people who dont know how to merge

[BlackED_Sprint]

Im of the same opinion as jared. Driving a work van all day, you see some stoopid, STOOPID kents.

example:
monday or tuesday morning i was driving along, as ya do, and some fuk bag in a beamer with the slicked back hair and the poof metro kent sunnies on merges in front of me without indicating. Toss features then decides "**** i gotta turn here", jams on the brakes and turns off to the left. meanwhile, i had to hit the picks and turn to avoid hitting sed kent, and spent the next 10 minutes sorting all the shit in my van out again and making sure valuable shit wasnt fekked and convincing myself not to hunt the kent down and slaughter him.
nothing out of the ordinary really, but when this happens to you at least 50 bazillion times a day you get pretty fukked off with shit knuts that dont deserve a fekking liscence!

apologies for the rant, need a beer....

[holmsy]

yeh one of the reasons i dont particularly want a manual is beacause of the amount of traffic lights on hills in geelong. and the amount of idiots that come right up ya arse so you have no space to roll.

[BlackED_Sprint]

Meh. pop the clutch and smoke the kents!

[Greenhorn]

i love jamming my brakes on for tailgaters, theres something really satisfying about seeing cars lock up at 110 on a country highway

[Rollin]

Meh. pop the clutch and smoke the kents!

Lol, that is SOO tempting.

I don't neet to though - the sub-2000rpm tune on my car is pretty dodge, so at idle it shoots black soot up to 3m behind me - by the time somone has sat up my ass for 30 seconds at the lights, I've done a big black soot-poo on their front bumper HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA suckers!

[BlackED_Sprint]

ROFLMAO!!!!!!

[oneredED]

1: I position myself beside a gap in traffic to change lanes, indicate, and the person behind in the next lane speeds up to close the gap - Oh God, so gay, it's not like I drive slowly or am trying to squeeze in or anything, one day some kent is going to fken cop it for that.

I have learnt a method that does the trick wonderfully (thanks Ivan ). In the preggio, I get the same thing... Indicator on, fellow next to me speeds up to let me in, car behind him decides to block me for no apparent reason. Well, you know what? STUFF EM! I just merge anyways. If they look like a twat AND the don't let me in (ie. kappa hat boy or a rich fekker in a merc) then I do this ultra special patented move:

Leave your indicator on. Speed up, until you're level with the car you were level with to start with (car 1). Keep your indicator on! Lift off the accelerator. Clutch in, and grab 2 gears lower (say your in 4th, grab 2nd) but LEAVE THE CLUTCH IN. As the "car 1" gradually starts to pull away from you, slowly merge across, getting as close to him as you can. When he pulls ahead by a few inches, pull in ever so slightly so the car behind (car 2; mr fuckhead) has to slow a little regardless of whether he wants to or not. Then, let the clutch out, and let the engine braking do the rest.
Works especially well if you can time it just before a right hand turn lane. You cut the **** off and then keep going right (into the turn lane), and you pull over and stop for the red arrow just in time to see him (car 2) go past screaming and flailing his arms like the arrogant fuckstick he is hahahahaha.

[Bipolar]

LOL. I'll remember that for next time I'm driving a shitbox.

When the EL was insured for $15000 I used to enjoy brake testing people. This one dude looked like he literally crapped his dacks. I was in the 100 zone going to Bribie and like always some retard is going 80 before the dual carriageway with 2 lanes each way. The dude behind me must've been just as retarded and thought I was the one going slow. He sat right up my arse the whole time he was behind me and I was getting the major shits. When I got to second lane I indicated to merge and he sped up and got closer as I was merging. I put it in second (BTR), slammed on the brake, then gassed it. I looked in the mirror and saw the dudes jaw just about hit the steering wheel as hit the pics and the front of his white Lancer dipped. It's the only time I've had a tailgaiter not speed up again and saw the kent disappear behind me after a minute.

[holmsy]

hahaha i love road rage stories.
we have some angry ones on here.
i have the same deal with people not letting me change lane. but iv learnt very quickly exactly how big my car is. so i just start moving and force them to let me in or else

the best thing to know when driving around morons and in really busy traffic. exactly where your car starts and finishes.

[Rollin]

Yeah, in the red one I move over anyway, I DGAF for it.

In the white one I'm more cautious cause I like it :S

Actually, one reason it is good to have lots of go - fixing tailgaters...

Drive along at 60, get tailgated, slow to 50, select second and pop the clutch, use appropriate amounts of lock and make some tyre dust (occasionally left and right lock is required....) watch the car behind you stay the fk back because they think you are a pshyco

[five point slow]

I put a worklight on the back of the Patrol. I put a switch on the centre console for tailgaters. Never had the chance to use it though

Manual diesel is the best for engine braking. Not only does it slow down like all ****, it dumps a nice black cloud out the back

[Eb Barbie]

I have hardly got to use my horn to beep at someone road raging so whenever I get the chance I go for it

[Schmee]

Back when I had my Tow Truck, F350 mild 351 clevo and a 5 speed had a bit of poke could light up 1st gear and smoke good...lol, just grooving along had a VN SS on the back and pulled up at a set of lights of course everyone thinks tow truck = slow truck so theres no-one behind me everyone goes for the left and right lanes...hehehehehe, this lil fukr in a 5 litre VP decides he can take me from the lights, man was he wrong i slotted 3 gears before he got accross the intersection and realised he didnt have the poke most of the guys behind him changed lane and got behind me and he realised he had run out of road and had to stop, hehehehehe

next set of lights he gets up the inside gets out of his car and tells me I drive like a psycho and he wants to teach me a lesson Im only a little guy so on with the handbrake and out we get with trusty ol tyre buddy, a 2 foot baseball bat used to belt the tyres and make sure they are all inflated its got tyre buddy burnt into the timber this makes it a legal tool....he does the bolt for his car so I figure ah well not so tuff afterall lights go green after im back in the cab so I take off and veer left making his lane smaller an smaller....lololol....never saw him again

Im bigger than you therefore I win

theres a heap more stories when I could be bothered typing them out

[Gozza]

I had someone pull out in front of me in a 60 zone - had to lock up and swerve ending up nearly into a traffic pole- i chased them down - ran a red light - drove past them on wrong side of the road and pulled a hand braky and blocked them hitman styles - got out of the car ready to unleash hell and it was an 80 year old couple - told em to get their eyes tested and hooped back in my car -

other than that im usually pretty tolerant

[Airved]

I can't fucking stand dipshits that sit on their brakes going down hills. It's the one thing, other than dickhead commodore drivers that I hate.

I was driving down an 80 section of Prince's Highway near Ulladulla the other week, going about 90 with a commodore driver tailgating me. I start braking for a upcoming 60 zone and he fucking swerves out and overtakes me in single lanes going about 110 in a 60 zone, then just slows down to about 70. So i start cursing and jumping around in my seat... We come into a 100 zone and i just floor it past the fucker.